i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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