Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
