oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
