Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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