She's JV to your varsity
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
