What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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