i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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