I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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