Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
