I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i think my cat just said my name.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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