Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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