The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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