Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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