apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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