so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
