What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
