i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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