So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
