Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
