You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
