Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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