I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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