I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
