I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
