I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
