my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
