About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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