We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
