i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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