i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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