I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
