dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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