when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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