and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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