2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
handjob tips. give me some.
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just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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