I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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