We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's the barista slut.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
