I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
