i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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