ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
