Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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