in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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