i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
