I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The uberlube is also flammable
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
