fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
