I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
