nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
