we made out on top of his cat.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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