Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
