Whod you bang
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
