If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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