Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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