i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
