UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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