I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
