She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
