At least make sure they are 18
Why
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
