im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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