Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
