...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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