Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
