I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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