im drinking this country out of the recession.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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