woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
